< Act I
December 10 2022
Greenpoint, NYC

PSA: No More Nose Candy

At the crossroads of ethical consumption and cartel violence, it comes as no surprise that the hippies are coming for our cocaine.

After all, it costs La Nueva Generacion of the Jalisco cartel $1,000 to produce a kilo of pure coca in Colombian fields. By the time it makes it across the border to the US of A, they're able to sell it for well over $20,000.

So long as Brad, Chad, Dick, Harry, Sally and Jane want to ski all weekend, Lorenzo, Paco, Esteban, Fernanda y Jaime are going to be decapitated, raped, and hung from their entrails all summer long.

Just do us a favor and stick to alcohol like your grandfather did. It was good enough for him, so it should be good enough for you. And if the altruistic plea isn't enough, consider this: the DEA is pressuring cartels to include dye in their shipments. Why? So they can see how much fentanyl is laced in it so your trustworthy dealer doesn't mix too much extra in. Oops.